I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
