Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
