i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
