legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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