he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
