garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
