I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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