So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
