im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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