so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
