dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize