So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
