Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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