im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
