you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
