Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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