Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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