I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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