No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
