Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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