Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
