I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
