i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
