Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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