can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You took a bar mat shot.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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