Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
