I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my poor anus
I need a beard to bite.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize