is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
