Don't make out with my wife yet
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
