I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
