so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
