I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nobody cheats on THIS.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
