At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
