please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
