He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
