I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
