Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
