i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
