I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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