Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
