The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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