Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
