i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
