i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
