Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
