are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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