so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I intend to get homeless drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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