Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
