I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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