Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
